Handout

Blue Carnation
父の来院

授業活用例：

・Why did the author cry?

・解答例:
　Because she was moved by her father's affection.

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Blue Carnation

　　My dad was always the strong silent type. Growing up, I rarely saw him angry, or even raise his voice in debate. He often suffered from allergies, but he didn’t take it out on us. He never told me he loved me ― that was just not his way. This was difficult for me when I was young.
　　I remember one time I cried and cried. Finally my mother reached out and comforted me. Then my father said the words I so wanted to hear. When you have to cry a lot to hear someone say “I love you,” it makes the words feel empty and of little comfort. Yet deep inside I knew he loved me. Through all these growing-up years, I never saw him cry.
　　Years later, my first son ― his first grandson ― was born. He was born in the dark, cold, early-morning hours of a winter snowstorm. Still very tired and scared, I called my parents. With the storm so violent, they could only try to make it the next day.
　　My husband and I were both students and very poor. We had no means to pay the hospital, so I had a very limited stay. Exhausted from the emotional waves of ecstasy and despair, I wanted to stay longer. Late in the afternoon of the next day, my hospital roommate left for a walk and snack. I had my sleeping baby with me. I tried to sleep, but could not.
　　I was surprised at the sound of light knocking. The nurse peeked in. “I know it isn’t visiting hours,” she said, “but this is a special visitor.”
　　There, standing in the doorway, was my dad, terribly out of place. He was still in his dirty old work coat. The dirt on his hands and face told me he came straight from work. He had a blue carnation in a small white vase tied with a blue ribbon. I guessed he picked it up at the hospital gift shop.
　　He looked at me as if he were embarrassed as he crept a little way into the room. My eyes met his. I saw a tear in his eyes. It welled up and gently rolled down his cheek. And then another. And another. I never saw my father cry before ― the silent emotion was overwhelming.
　“See your grandson?” I said, trying to hide my own feeling of awkwardness. But it was useless. Tears glazed over my eyes as well.
　　We were both in tears as he made his way closer and handed me the carnation. He slowly stretched to peek at the baby, keeping his distance. He stayed only briefly and then he was gone.

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Handout