Lang-8にアップしている日記（２０１６年）です。
Here are some excerpts from my diary in Lang-8.
I appreciate it if you correct my English :)
("-chan," which you often see in my diary, is something used when we call or mention someone who is very young. It's also used when you call girls' names in Japan, as in "Hanako-chan," "Fumie-chan." This "-chan" plays an important role in Japanese in that it gives you a vivid image of a little kid instantly in your mind. I may not use "-chan" when I write something in English, but it has become part of my daughters' names when I call their names, so I cannot help but use it :) )
-
---
- January 6
Ms. Detective
Haru-chan was picking her nose last night, and my father told her not to. She then started to fight back.
"How come you can tell me not to pick my nose? I mean, you must have been picking your nose when you were a child."
"No, I didn't."
"Yes, you did!"
"Hmm. How are you so sure?"
"'Because your nostrils are big."
- January 13
Governors
Last Monday, national holiday, I asked Haru-chan where she would like to go. She said she wanted to go to the zoo. Tomo-chan then cut in and insisted we go to the park because it was sunny. My son Yuta agreed.
Eventually my family and I decided to play janken to decide what to do.
I won. I smiled, jumped up and wondered where to go.
I said, "First we'll go to the cat cafe, then go iceskating, and ―"
I noticed Tomo-chan and Yuta glaring at me. Haru-chan then said, "Daddy, how come you decide what to do when we three want to go to the park? That's not fair."
- January 18
Wives
Haru-chan is eager to help my wife cook.
Wife: "Honey, can you clear the dining table?"
Haru-chan: "Yep. Clear the table, please."
Wife: "Dinner is about ready. Oh my, wait a second. Where are the onions?"
Haru-chan: "Daddy used the last one to cook fried rice for lunch."
Wife: "Honey, can you go get some at the supermarket?"
Haru-chan: "Mommy, the water's boiling."
Wife: "On second thought, forget the onions. I can manage without them."
Haru-chan: "Phew, that was close. Now Daddy, go get some onions."
- January 25
Environmentally Friendly Boy
"Gohan do (Dinner is ready)."
My son Yuta sometimes comes to my library to tell me the dinner is ready.
Yesterday I turned off the ceiling light of my room, and walked up to Yuta with my PC on, thinking I would use it after dinner.
He then told me off and said, "Turn off the PC too."
- January 27
Table Manners
Yesterday was Haru-chan's birthday. She turned six.
We ate sushi for dinner.
Me: "Oh, sushi. Haru-chan, pass me my chopsticks."
Haru-chan: "Here you are."
Me: (I held out my hand)
Haru-chan: "Here you are."
Me: (I held out my hand again)
Haru-chan: "Here you are!"
Me: "What!"
Wife: "Haru wants you to say 'thank you.' "
Me: "Oh, th- thank you."
Haru-chan: "Good."
- February 2
Novice Arithmetician
Tomo-chan has been learning the multiplication table this school year. The other day I tried to see how much she remembered and understood it.
"Morning. Want some apples?"
"Yep."
"I cut two apples, not one, this morning."
"Two? So that makes ..."
"You get eight pieces out of one apple."
"Eight times two. Ah, 16?"
"Correct. I ate one, and I want you to leave, let's see, three for your mom."
"...15 minus three ... we'll get 12."
"Uh-huh. And you're supposed to share them with Haru and Yuta."
"Twelve pieces for three of us?"
"Yes. So you can eat ―"
"Oh, oh! Don't give me the answer. I can get it. Well, wait a sec."
"The answer is f―"
"Shut up and listen to me, will you! Okay, now 3 times 1 is 3, 3 times 2 is 6, 3 times 3 is 9, 3 times 4 is ― Oh, I get it! Four pieces! We can eat four, right?"
"Atta girl! Well done. Now can I eat one piece?"
"Don't touch our apples."
- February 8
The Chief Cook
Haru-chan helped my wife and me with dinner in the kitchen yesterday.
"Daddy, get me seven bowls for rice."
"I said seven, not six."
"Daddy, the chopsticks aren't ready."
"That's not Yuta's bowl. That's my sister's."
(Someone whistled on TV)
"Daddy, don't whistle at night."
- February 12
In Her Heart
My daughters were talking about who they like in the family last night.
"I like grandma, mom, daddy, and Kuromi (pet cat)."
"Oh, you do?"
"Uh-huh. You don't?"
"I like grandma, grandpa, mom, daddy and Hana-chan (pet dog)."
"But Hana-chan died."
"I know. She's in heaven."
- February 17
Reunion
One of my best friends from university, Takemasa and I got together for the first time in years the other day.
He told me he would come to Kyushu to take part in a wedding held in Kumamoto, and asked if it was okay for me to have lunch with him. I replied I would go see him whatever happened, rain or shine, thunderstorm or earthquake. He laughed and told me to stop joking, but I meant it.
Takemasa saved my life 15 years ago. I had a terminal cancer back then.
I was diagnosed as having one month to live, with huge tumor in my liver. The pain was literally killing me, and I thought of commiting suicide. Then he visited me at the hospital.
He was on crutches; he had had his leg broken in a softball match weeks before. He came all the way from Kobe to Fukuoka by shinkansen bullet train.
Tripping at the entrance, he smiled and said, "Are you okay?" I burst into tears.
He gave me lots of souvenirs and an encouraging letter. That night, I tore apart my suicide note and decided to fight against the cancer.
Takemasa looked as young as before, except for one thing; he started to have some gray hairburns. Another friend of mine in Kyushu, Matsuo, joined us and we caught up. We seldom get together after most of us started to have a family. But one thing is for sure; Our friendship will never fade.
- March 9
Just a Trim
My wife asked me to take Haru-chan to a barber shop the other day. Haru-chan seemed to hate to have short hair.
"Daddy, my graduation is just around the corner, so just a trim."
"Don't you think you need a hair cut? You know, short hair looks good on you."
"I said just a trim."
(Wearing her shoes)
"Daddy, remember, just a trim."
"I know, I know."
(Opening the car door)
"Daddy, just a ―"
"Trim."
"Right."
- March 19
Counting
Tomo-chan and Haru-chan chatted during dinner last night.
"Haru, remember the demonstration day last year?"
"Yep."
"My teacher started to cry while we were singing."
"Oh, come on. I've heard that, like, five times."
"You have? Then how about this?"
"What?"
"In the show, K-kun made a big mistake and everyone laughed. And then he..."
"Uh, uh, uh, uhhh! Not again, sis. I've heard it six times."
- March 22
Detective & Reporter
While my daughters and I were having breakfast yesterday, we heard footsteps.
Me: "I wonder who it is. Grandma?"
Tomo-chan: "No, it's grandpa."
Haru-chan: "Is it?"
Me: "How can you tell it's grandpa with the door closed?"
Tomo-chan: "Well, grandma usually wears slippers, and so it sounds different."
Haru-chan: "But grandma sometimes doesn't wear slippers."
Tomo-chan: "Right. But grandma's footsteps are a little lighter than grandpa's."
Me: "Are they? My bet is grandma. Grandma woke up."
Grandpa "(opening the door) Good morning."
Me: "Holy cow! You got it right. Tomo, you're a great detective!"
Haru: "Oh, oh! Now tell me sis, the difference between daddy and mommy's footsteps."
Tomo-chan: "Huh? Piece of cake. Mommy's footsteps are lighter than daddy's."
Me: "No, they aren't."
Tomo-chan: "Yes, they are."
Me: "No! Her footsteps are ten times as big!"
(I mimicked a gorilla and walked around, making my daughters laugh)
Wife: "(opening the door) Morning. Did I miss anything?"
Haru-chan: "Oh, Mommy, it was fun! Daddy told Haru-chan that you walk like a gorilla!"
- March 28
Cherry Blossoms on Yuta's Cheeks
My family and I went to the Cherry Blossom Festival in our town yesterday. My wife was in charge of the festival. When my children saw her in the venue, they jumped at her.
It was a little windy but a good sunny day.
While we were eating udon noodles at the food venue, a little girl walked by, waving at us in a big way. She yelled, "Wow, Yuta, Yuta!"
I turned to Yuta and asked if she was a friend from the nursery. He said yes.
"Is she, by any chance, your girlfriend? The girl you like?" I asked.
He blushed a bit and nodded.
- March 31
Miracle
I assign spoken English tests eight times a year. In this test, students go up to the front, pick up the microphone, and make a speech or talk. There are three types in the test;
In Type A, students are to read a textbook passage for 20 seconds and answer to my question in two sentences.
In Type B, they make a one-minute speech based on various topics (students have already written an essay on the topics and learned what to say by heart).
And in Type C, my student and I have a free conversation in English for 50 seconds. Topics come at random, so students are supposed to brush up all the three categories in class and at home.
Yesterday in one class, a boy named Yuki got a Type B card written "My Best Friend." He talked about his best friend, Kazuya.
In another class, Kazuya got the card "My Best Friend."
The chance of picking the same card was once in 484 (0.207%).
"Don't tell me..." I said to myself.
Kazuya started to talk about Yuki!
- April 11
Whew, Sis!
My wife: "Remember the Cleaning-up Day, Darling?"
Me: "Uh-huh. You guys went to the river."
My wife: "Tomo-chan, well, who usually goes to the bathroom alone, asked a man to take her to the toilet."
Me: "Asked a man."
My wife: "Yup."
Tomo-chan: "Did I?"
Me: "Well, what about him?"
My wife: "He was, like, totally handsome."
Me: "Oh gosh, Tomo, how about that!"
Tomo-chan: "No, I didn't!"
(She blushed)
My wife: "On top of that, she went to the toilet ... holding his hand!"
Me: "Whew!"
Haru-chan: "Whew, sis! I wouldn't let any man touch my body!"
- April 19
Candies to Go
My family and I went to the music demonstration meet this weekend. My daughters played some musical instruments on the stage.
During the lunch break, a little girl walked up to Haru-chan and gazed at her candies. Haru-chan asked her how old she was. She said five. Haru-chan grinned, took out five candies and gave them to the girl.
Haru-chan spotted a baby boy, went up to him and asked his parents if it was okay to give him some too.
- May 10
Reason Please
The other day Haru-chan gave me a quiz.
"Daddy, which octopi do you think have bigger suckers on their tentacles, female octopi or male ones?"
"Let's see. Well, male ones?"
"Uh-uh. Female octopi do!"
"Really? I didn't know that. How come?"
"You wanna know why? Ahem. Here's why. Remember the Aquarium Day?"
"The day you nursery kids went to the aquarium?"
"Right. The instructor asked K-kun the same quiz."
"Okay."
"And K-kun said male octopi have bigger suckers."
"And?"
"The instructor said it was wrong!"
"Right."
"That's why."
- May 16
On Second Thought
Me: "Don't eat too much, girls, or you won't be able to eat anything at the festival."
Haru-chan: "Festival?"
Me: "Yup. Your mom is in charge."
Tomo-chan: "I'll pass."
Haru-chan: "What can I eat there?"
Me: "I don't know ... I bet takoyaki dumplings and baked squids."
Haru-chan: "Oh, really? What else?"
Me: "Ice cream, I suppose."
Tomo-chan: "I'll go."
- May 25
Secret
Haru-chan asks me to stay outside the bathroom until she is done. While waiting, I heard her say something in a quiet voice last night. I perked up my ears and heard her say, "God, don't make me wet my pants tonight."
Outside the bathroom, I asked her what she had asked her god for. She grinned and said, "It's a secret!"
- May28
My Therapy
Haru-chan sometimes hops on my belly and reads me some picture books. She read eight picture books last night.
- June 2
His First Phone Call
Last night my wife's cousin Naomi gave my mother a phone call. A while later, Haru-chan said, "Oh grandma, let me talk with Naomi!"
She handed the phone and Haru-chan started to talk; "Moshi moshi (Hello), Naomi-chan. How have you been ..."
Seeing that, Yuta walked up to her.
"Would you like to talk with Naomi, too?" asked Grandma.
He thought for a second and nodded. Haru-chan gave the phone to him.
He looked a bit nervous. He then said, "Mochi mochi (rice cake)?"
- June 7
Greetings
Yuta likes LaQ, which is a set of tiny toy blocks. (You can imagine smaller and flat kinds of Lego blocks)
He made a scary looking monster last evening. My wife asked him what its name was. He answered, "Dragon Monster."
He let the dragon walk on the carpet roaring, "Stomp! Stooomp!"
He then lifted it up onto the dining table. The dragon slowly turned to me, to my wife. Yuta then said, "Konnichiwa (Good afternoon)."
- June 10
I Wish I Were Four Years Old Again
I had two meetings to take part in yesterday; one at school and the other in my town. I went home at around 9 p.m. It was such a long day and I didn't even feel like drinking Umeshu prum wine, which I enjoy drinking every day during dinner.
Yuta came up and sat next to me at the dinner table. He poured milk into his glass, gulped it down, banged the glass on the table and shouted, "Oh boy! This milk ... Ohhhhh boy!"
- June 16
Show & Tell
In my English lesson yesterday, my students and I enjoyed Show & Tell. Students introduced all sorts of treasures: autographed balls, the best birthday gifts, sports outfits and many others.
I showed them a book titled Usagi no Me (A Hare's Eyes).
Back in my twenties, I was working for a juku cram school while studying to become a full-time English teacher. Then one day, I got a serious disease and was hospitalized. I had to stay in the hospital for a long time, so I had to give up the post in the juku. And I gave up my dream of becoming an English teacher shortly after.
Then one day, one of my best friends Norio visited me in the hospital. He gave me the book Usagi no Me. "What's the book about?" I asked. "Well, education or something," he replied.
That night I read the book. It was a story about an enthusiastic teacher who tries her very best to educate her students. I was moved and re-dedicated myself to becoming a teacher.
In my speech I said to my students, "If Norio hadn't given this special book to me, I wouldn't be teaching here now."
- June 20
Health Conscious Monster
Yuta is into LaQ (smaller type of Lego), and made another scary-looking monster last night.
"Yuta, what's his name?"
"Gaogao King."
"Oh. Looks muscular. What does he eat? What's his favorite?"
"He likes green peppers."
- June 28
Teacher
My wife has recently started stretching at night. Last night I watched her do it for a while and said to her, "Look, I can do it."
She smirked and said, "I bet you can't." Then she lay on her back and spread her legs open to 100 degrees or so.
"Who are you talking to?" I opened and showed her 110-degree legs.
"Is that all you got?" She frowned and made it to 111 degrees.
"I can do it too," Haru-chan cut in.
She lay down on the mat and showed us 180 degrees.
- July 4
Don't Say Anything
Yuta and I went to the nearby flower shop to buy some flowers for the flowerbed. We bought some pentases.
It was very hot yesterday, so I decided to buy a can of juice for Yuta.
"When we get home, don't say I bought you some juice. Can you promise?" I said to Yuta. His two sisters would be furious if they found out Yuta was the only one who had gotten juice.
"Gotcha," he said and drank an apple juice.
"Are you sure?" I tried to confirm.
"Come on, Daddy. I'll say, 'I'm home. I didn't drink anything.' "
- July 11
Painkiller
My mother went to hospital and got an injection yesterday. When she came home, Yuta jumped at her and grabbed her arm.
"Yuta, that hurts. I got a shot," she said.
He thought for a while and said, "I'll tickle-tickle you, then."
- July 13
I'm Home
My wife and I reached home at the same time for the first time in years yesterday. Haru-chan hopped out of my wife's car, yelled Daddy and knocked on the passenger's window of my car. When I turned to her, she ran around to the driver's window and knocked on it again, grinning.
Haru-chan suggested we three go to the house hand in hand. At the entrance door, she said, "Let's say 'Tadaima (I'm home)' together."
- July 14
Ms. Talkative
My daughters played a game of "Do-not-talk-during-dinner" yesterday.
"Haru, let's play Do-not-talk-during-dinner. The first to talk, is going to be a rotten egg. Ready, set, go!"
"Gotcha."
"―"
"―"
"Oh, I almost forgot. You can say 'Gochisosama (That was a good dinner).'"
"Can I?"
"Right. It's an exception."
"Got it."
"Okay. Now no sneezing, no yawning, no nothing."
"No sneezing, no ... come again?"
"Yawning."
"Yawning. Right."
"No matter how sleepy you are, mind you, NO yawning! Now ready? Oh grandma, gimme another bowl of rice, please. Whew! How yummy the sausage is."
- July 19
Deduction
"Santa Claus doesn't exist, does he?" my daughter Tomo-chan asked.
"Oh, she has become mature enough to understand that," I said to myself.
"Yes, he does. How else could you get a Christmas present every year?" I replied.
"Oh, that. You know Daddy, my sister and I sleep in the bunk bed."
"Yes. What about the bed?"
"Santa Claus would be too fat to go up the ladder."
- July 23
Good Job, Yuta
(Mentaiko fish eggs are one of my favorite Japanese foods)
During dinner last night, my mother handed me mentaiko, my favorite. I thanked her. She then said, "Oh, I forgot to buy Mentaiko yesterday. I mean, almost. I was at the cashier, and Yuta caught up. He put the Mentaiko in the shopping basket, saying 'Daddy loves it.'"
- August 10
Oops
My children and I went to a brass band's concert last night. The band belongs to the school I work for, so a couple of the parents of my students spotted me and greeted me.
"Your children are so cute!" One mother said.
"No, no." I replied. (In Japan, modesty is virtue)
After she went away, my daughter Tomo-chan pinched my thigh and said, "What do you mean, 'no'?"
- August 16
Shaved Ice
My children and I went shopping yesterday. I bought a couple of books for them, and we dropped by a coffee shop to eat some shaved ice. I ordered the one with coffee syrup, and my children, strawberry.
When they ate it, they gave a big smile, looked at each other and placed their hands onto their cheeks. I asked them what it was for. Haru-chan answered, "So that our cheeks won't drop off."
(A Japanese idiom goes, "If you eat something delicious, your cheeks drop off.")
- August 18
Less Is More
Yuta wouldn't start washing his hair and body in the bath yesterday, so I decided to become an ogre and tell him to. Japanese ogres have a pair of horns on the head, so many Japanese young parents place their forefingers on top of their head and say, "I'm warning you."
When I became an ogre and turned to Yuta, he looked scared, jumped out of the bathtub and said, "I'll wash! I'll wash!"
Wow it worked, I thought, and I decided to increase the number of horns to make myself look scarier. I put up my middle fingers. Then ring fingers.
When I put up my little fingers and growled, though, Yuta said to me, "Oh. Bunny."
- August 22
Nursery Teacher
Yesterday I took part in the summer camp of Shorinji Kempo (a type of Japanese martial arts). I first joined this annual camp when I was 19 years old, which makes this camp my 20th or so.
My mentor Mr. Nakamura asked me to teach two 7-year-old boys, Shu and Ohju, in the afternoon practice.
They jumped around, wouldn't listen to me and kicked my shins a hundred times.
Ohju started to sleep standing up, so I asked him what time he had gone to bed. He said his mother had woken him up at 1:00 a.m., making him finish his summer homework from elementary school all through morning.
I felt sorry for him and was worried a bit about his health. I allowed him to take a quick nap, and let him lie on my lap. He laid his back on my chest and closed his eyes. Other children then came up making a fuss, preventing him from sleeping. I covered Ohju's eyes with my palm and stroked his hair until he fell asleep.
- October 11
Ninja Boy
When I went to a neighbor's house to give the circular bulletin board yesterday, Yuta came over and asked if it was okay to go along. He had a slight cold, so I said no and told him to go back home.
When I posted the board and turned back, Yuta was there, smiling. He held out his hand, and we went home hand in hand.
- October 24
Expert
My family and I took part in the forest-strolling event yesterday. Six other families were there.
We first went to the nearby forest to pick up fallen leaves, mushrooms and acorns there. Later we went back to the town hall, and checked their names and characteristics.
"I picked up 25 acorns!" A boy yelled.
"Huh, that's nothing. Look, I've got 33." A girl said to the boy.
The plastic bag in which Yuta put his acorns was a bit heavy. So I suggested we count them all.
There were 213 acorns there.
I bet Yuta was a squarrel in his previous life.
- November 14
Mother
My children and I went to the supermarket to buy some food for dinner yesterday. I guess Haru will make a good mother in the future:
"Daddy, can't you see the worm bites on this apple? Try to get with the program. Get another."
"That sauce is in the fridge."
"Yuta, wait in line at the cashier."
"Yuta, since you were on the backseat in our way here, you can get in the passenger's seat this time."
- November 15
Bathtime
My students and I watched a movie My Neighbor Totoro in English with English subtitles yesterday. The original title is Tonarino Totoro, a Japanese animation movie directed by Hayao Miyazaki.
The other day I learned something surprising about the movie: one of my favorite scenes, where Father and his two little daughters take a bath together, was cut when it was dubbed and aired in western countries. This is because parents and children taking a bath together is considered as child abuse in those countries.
What a shame, I thought, because the scene is one of the best in the movie; when the girls are afraid of the strong wind outside, the father jumps up and starts to laugh all of a sudden. Girls then start to laugh, tickling each other and splashing the bath water.
My best time of the day is the bathtime with my children.
Last night my daughters took turn and pushed my mole on the forehead, commanding "This is a Smile Button. Now smile." "Umeboshi pickles button. Make a sour face."
When Haru-chan said "Make a face when you kiss a woman," I jumped at her, hugged tight and kissed her face dozens of times. Tomo-chan laughed and escaped out of the bathtub, splashing water at me to save her.
- November 17
Womanizer
Last night, my children and I talked about the girls Yuta likes best in his nursery.
Haru: "Daddy, did you know that Yuta likes two girls at nursery?"
Me: "He does? Now, how about that! I mean, well, I thought Yuta liked R-chan."
Yuta: "I like R-chan the best."
Me: "Who's your second favorite, if may I ask?"
Yuta: "And I like K-chan the second best."
Haru: "Now Yuta, how about S-chan, my best friend?"
Yuta: "I like S-chan too."
Me: "Gee, that makes three? Three of them!"
Haru: "Whew, three!"
Yuta: "... and I like M-chan too."
- November 25
Nurse
Haru-chan changes Band-Aids on my shoulder every night.
"Daddy, turn away. Time to change the Band-Aid."
"Huh? Didn't you change the Band-Aid yesterday? The doctor told me to change it every other day."
"Oh, please. You were busy checking my sister's homework and everything, and I didn't have the time to change the Band-Aid. Try to get with the program."
- December 24
Their Tactics
In my high school, students take winter supplementary lessons this time of the year. I teach English, and students go through intensive vocab quizzes and grammar quizzes. Unless they get a score of 80 %, they have to keep retaking the quizzes after school.
One out of ten lessons, though, I give them a chance; if all the blackboard answers are correct in the day's lecture, they can skip the after-school makeup tests.
In today's English class, there was one mistake included on the blackboard; the answer had one unnecessary word and failed to have a period.
I placed my fists at my waist wondering what to do, when a couple of girls whispered to me, "It's Christmas, teacher."
---